Hey there. Don’t you think ‘cuddle weather’ is cool? I’m kidding. Just three days ago I happened to wake up having a nasty feeling inside my ‘nasal cavity’ that it practically needed mucus declogging…oh, and what with my throat? It hurt real bad. I guess it shouldn’t be a surprise, after all it happens whenever the so-called atmosphere bipolarity between hell hot and wet wet decides to play their little game with our (my) immune system. A bit of wonder right there left me guessing though; whether the weather has actually decided for itself in the first place or not. Come on, you’ve got to make up your mind, Weather!*

*Insert thunder roll here

Hold on, I’m not blaming wet weather, not even the dry…but goodness! It’s safe and logical to say these guys have their own el positivos and la negativas (now that’s some Spanish! I’ll have more of that this semester. Okay back to the topic.) I personally like it when it’s breezy and cool, but putting volumes of water into the picture doesn’t give a refreshing feeling to me at all. On the other hand, it’s good to have a dry sunny weather that’ll make you feel pumped-up and full of life, but then again, too much sun will instantly make a HYPERHIDROTIC out of you. Emphasis intended. Thumbs down for the attention-seeking round-shaped matter that plotted itself on your shirt…Wait, Sweat Tragedies isn’t going to be my topic for tonight!

Since yesterday came, I’ve started to train myself to be a bit more conscious about my response towards everything. “How was I responding to circumstances?” because honestly, I usually responded a bit crankily with the small stuff. Say, I really hated it whenever I have to wait long. Or when I’m running late for school because nobody out of common-sense-due-to-my-routinary-waking-up-at-6am-but-because-I-had-to-stay-up-til-4am-to-finish-all-of-my-paperwork dared to wake me up. Sometimes I get easily pissed off with small things. But I’ve realized that life is a test. All of life is a test. I remember when I passed my college entrance test, one of the exams I took was for UST. The thought that not everybody that took USTET (UST entrance test) made it into that university, while I did, humbled me. In fact, I was rather grateful that I made it there. Now that I’m on my third year college in UST, more than half of what I said about my studying in there was all about the things it never had. I repeatedly played the “Stuff It Never Had” video inside my head, in fullscreen, 780p HD. I was so frustrated that I initially thought of transferring to another university; then I thought of shifting to another course; up until going to school never made sense to me at all.

Clearly enough, I focused on the wrong things, and that is why I responded negatively. I focused on the stuff I wasn’t getting, instead of appreciating the things I was getting. (Read Philippians 4:8-9) I was afraid that the course program I was currently at wasn’t good enough, which in turn made me think less of myself (might I add that our major was always a recipient of derogatory remarks, some even coming from our professors. I believe they’re doing that out of wanting to make the best out of us, but anyway, back to what I was saying…) all that because I focused on the wrong stuff. It exhausted all my hopes and positivity. My head always flashed “What’s in it for me?”. I wanted to suck up all the good things into me, instead of thinking about the good things I could bring unto this world. I always thought happiness comes from what you get, but no. There is no satisfaction in getting. Sure we might get satisfied sometimes, but we won’t be able to keep that satisfaction for long. We are people of infinite desires. We’ll never get enough unless we see things through the right perspective and as long as we are driven by wrong stuff. What I’m trying to say is that, once you shift gears and have the proper mindset in giving, a significant kind of joy will satisfy and overwhelm you. I believe it is the kind of joy that comes after the realization of being utile.

Lastly, I’ve realized, we have a reason for living. You exist because you are something to this world. Once you start to have a grasp on your purpose, and that you have to arrive at something, you have hope. Even when times get tough, you’ve got sail to keep you moving forward. Simply put, you are driven for something because you have something to pursue.

Upon entering college, my thoughts were hanging loosely all over me. I remember how I always wondered why in the world did I take up Communication Arts– I never knew what I was trying to pursue in life anyway. But let me tell you this, having no sense of direction draws off life from you. You’ll never feel fulfilled even after all the tons of stuff you have been doing. For us to be motivated by our real purpose, we have to give up our ME-FOCUSED-EGO and MY-WAY-INSISTENCE. We can’t dictate to ourselves the reason for our existence because we did not create ourselves! To give you real life situation: An inventor creates a new complex machine because the need for that machine existed in his mind. It originated from him. The only person who can operate that “newly-made” complex machine is the one who made it. And just like that, we have to ask our purpose from the One who brought us to existence. And that’s Our Creator.

As I end this lengthy post, I share with you a passage from the Bible:

“Everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him.” Colossians 1:16b MSG

Life is not about us. It’s not about what we’re getting. It’s about what we can give. It’s about living with a purpose. Now go and find that purpose in Him! 🙂

Thank you for reading 5-12-13 entry of Pensées. The writer of this post is currently reading The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. Share your thoughts below!


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